I couldn't begin to tell you how many times a day I get asked if I'm excited about the move.
First, let me tell you, this was not planned! During the first week of March, Cole applied for a position at corporate in Utah and was in the top two for the position. The hiring manager chose the other dude and we were both a bit disappointed but knew that ultimately it was out of our hands and what was to be was being. A couple of weeks later Cole was discussing the hiring process with his manager as well as voicing some of his concerns with said process. Cole was reassured that it was nothing to do with him and was told that if he wanted to work in Washington doing what he's doing now he could move "next week". Cole and I spoke about it briefly that same day...actually minutes after it was said and it was vetoed...why move if you aren't "moving up"? I left to pick Cameron up from school and on my way phoned or landlord to express our interest in renewing our lease which would be up at the end of April. This was March 27...the very same day the"joke" was made from Coles manager about moving to Washington. I scheduled our annual inspection with our landlord, walked into the school and picked up Cameron and drove home...when I walked in the door, not even 30 minutes after finishing that conversation with Cole, he told me that he found a 3 bedroom 2 bath house for rent for $900 a month. I asked where, because there was no way he found that her in the area we live. He said, "Washington", And I laughed. Long story short, we talked it over briefly, and came to the conclusion that if we were going to do it now would be the time...I wasn't too far along in my pregnancy that traveling would be difficult and our lease was up in just about 30 days, add to the fact that Cameron gets out of school mid May, it really seemed too perfect. He emailed his manager expressing interest and agreed to the move by the end of the evening. I'm not joking when I say we had no plans of moving when we woke on March 27th but by the time we went to bed that night Cole had agreed to move to Washington.
We've hit tons and tons of bumps in the plan the last 3 weeks. Seriously, for the first week I wasn't even sure where we were going to end up...if we would even end up in Washington. Quite honestly, it could still change. To say the last three weeks have been a roller coaster would be an understatement.
I've sold everything in my home...if you remember, we moved to Alaska with essentials...clothes, diapers, a box of toys. That was it. We've been here two years and have some how managed to turn our empty apartment into a home. We are leaving Alaska with the essentials...clothes, toys, pictures and a carseat for baby Dade. It's the cheapest way to move so far...3,000 miles is a long way to drive a u-haul.
To say I'm excited would be lying. At the end of the day, when the kids and I leave Alaska, we'll be saying good-bye to Cole for an undetermined amount of time. We have a plan, but honestly we are all flying by the seat of our pants on this roller coaster ride. I know that we will see him at the beginning of July when Dade arrives, but if he arrives early, Cole will miss it.
At the end of the day, I'm pulling my 6yr old out of full day kindergarten where he is excelling and changing on a daily basis. I'm turning his life upside down. Yes, kids are resilient and no, in the long term this won't effect him, but it doesn't make it any easier on him or me right now.
There's the fact that we all love Alaska and really don't want to leave!
There's also the fact that when we leave next week, I will be 29 weeks pregnant. I have pregnancy induced hypertension and could develop preeclampsia any day. I've been blessed with a great doctor here and am returning to a great doctor in Oregon but it doesn't make the transition and wait as well as moving any easier!
The question is, why? If you aren't excited, if there are so many cons why are you moving? Because it's what we are supposed to do. Heavenly Father has been directing our lives for years. Our move to Alaska was in his time and I truly believe the move this time is in his time. I see his blessings around us on a daily basis. I honestly believe this is what we are supposed to do. I can question it all I want, I can fight it all I want but at the end of the day both Cole and I know that this is it. There are some pros and I know that the pros are what make this bearable and they are what will make it easier to settle down once it's over.
So, I will continue to smile and nod pretending to be excited. I will raise my voice in excitement when I talk with my family. But, I will also continue to shed tears for the solitude we are leaving, for the beauty we are leaving and for the friends we are leaving. I will most definitely cry when I hug and kiss my husband good-bye at the airport...and while I comfort my crying 6yr old after passing through security. I will most likely shed tears as we land in Medford knowing that this chapter in or lives has come to a close and a new one is beginning. The weeks will fly by and we will be reunited as a family...of 5. We will be living in a beautiful state where we won't have negative temperatures in the winter, but will still have some snow. We will be better off, if not for the pay raise, then for the blessings that come from following our father in heaven's plans for our family.
This month's motto: I've done it once, I can do it again!
