Responsible

My to-do list is slowly but surely getting smaller! There are some days though that I wish I didn't have to be a responsible wife and mommy....I would much rather lay around, sipping yummy ice water and reading a good book. These days though...I a chugging ice water and falling asleep the moment I lay down to read a good book. Oh well, there is a time and a season for everything and reading a great book is not part of this season of my life....It seems only every few months can I actually sit down and read. Today...is not that day....This month is not that month!

As I type I have the washer running...washing baby clothes that need to be folded and put away in about an hour. I also have the dish washer running, a toddler down for his nap, shells to cream puffs baking and a fridge full of fruits and veggies that need to be cut and sliced. I have a gift that needs to be wrapped, gift bags for game winners that need to be put together and a car that needs to be cleaned out. Oh, and Grey's Anatomy re-runs start at 1pm on lifetime....Can't miss that. And that's just my list for this afternoon. Did I mention I am exhausted because I am still not sleeping and I would much rather blow everything off.....and not be responsible.....and take a nap!

Pregnancy Insomnia

Well it's the start of another week and I'm already ready for it to be over! I feel like I have a million and one things to get done and accomplish that if I don't start I will never finish....but I don't have the energy to start!

I have been experiencing pregnancy insomnia. I hate insomnia! I have no problem falling asleep on the couch sometime between 9pm and 10pm. I have no problem snoozing on the couch throughout the day for 30 minutes here or 20 minutes there. But sleep through the night....not happening! You'd think I already have a little one waking up for a mid-night feeding or two. But I don't and still I'm awake at least once but more often twice for minutes if not HOURS every night! I am so tired as it is....I need my full nights sleep for a few more weeks.

The only thing to look forward to this week would be my sisters bridal shower....as her Matron of Honor, I am throwing it....However, it's not going to be much of anything if I don't start sleeping!!!

Also, a quick update...Grandmas funeral service was Friday morning. It was short and sweet and everything she would have wanted. We were able to walk down to the grave site once they were finished laying her casket in and covering it. She is buried with my Grandfather which I find very special. As sad as I am, I count my blessing and know that this too is a blessing! She was in so much pain....and now she's not!

I have to get off the computer and get started on my list....it gets longer by the second!

some of the things I am loving right now!!!

*ice+water=my very fav thing to drink and then crunch!

*the sun shining through my window at 5:55am when the alarm goes off to wake our fam to go milk the cow!

* reminiscing....going through Cameron's old clothes...getting them ready for Joshua!

*planning my sisters bridal shower

*spending time with our families

*ice cream

*The incredible young women I serve at church

*watching Cole excel at his new calling(s)

*going to the temple with my husband

*spending quality time daily with Cameron and Cole

*eating dinner at the table as a family

July---32 weeks down----8 to go!

I can hardly believe we are already into July. Cole and I were up at the hospital this morning, I had to have some lab work done. Anyhow, Cole was talking about how excited he was for Joshua to arrive....We only have 8 weeks left! It's crazy to think that in about two months we will have another child. Another child to care for, to love on and to teach.

We are still preparing Cameron for Joshua's arrival....When we broke the news to Cameron about Grandmas death, Cole mentioned that she was not only going to heaven where Grandpa Harvey is, she in heaven where Joshua just came from (in a sense and it helped Cameron to better understand the joining of spirit and body at birth and the separation of the two at death). Cameron asked how Joshua got into mommy's tummy and Cole asked "you're smart, how do you think he got into mommy's tummy?" Cameron then, having just learned about Moses a few weeks ago at church, told Cole that he thinks Joshua came down the river like Moses, except with out the basket.

We have started going through baby things. Cameron loves to try out Joshua's baby toys...I have to remind Cameron that they used to be his when he was a baby. It's been fun to watch Cameron play with the train and music table that he played with when he was little....I feel blessed to have the ability to recall those memories of him, most of them include Grandma, too, which makes the memories and these new moments extra special.

Grandma was so excited that we were having another baby! She had a hard time remembering his name and was sure that we wanted a girl....but she has a fondness for boys as she raised 3! She loved the name Joshua and made sure to tell every time she heard it that is was a strong manly name. I have bitter-sweet feeling regarding her passing without having met Joshua, I wish she could have met him in this life but I know that she will meet him when the time is right in the next life.

Now, 8 weeks...hurry up and go already....I want to meet my new little man!

July 5, 2010

Cole and I missed fast and testimony meeting yesterday. We got a phone call about an hour before church was to start, letting me know that my Grandmother whom I love and adore would probably be leaving this life shortly. Cole and I went up to the hospital to sit with her for a while and say goodbye. Nobody knew how long it would take. My prayer was for her passing to be short and easy. I have been inclined to pray for her comfort....I did not want her to suffer anymore than she already had. As I mentioned in my last post she had recently broke her leg, undergone two major surgery's with complications. She has been in and out of ICU in the last couple of weeks.

When I was told that I needed prepare myself and say goodbye, I was immediately filled with gratitude. I know, how wrong is that! I thought of all the time she spent telling me how much she hurt, how much she missed Grandpa. I thought of the last couple of weeks and the pain she must have been in.

Grandma passed this morning. I feel as if there is a piece missing from me. But, I know that I will see her again. I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. For the knowledge I have of eternal families. I am grateful that she will be in a place where she will be with her loved ones...pain free. I am grateful that her passing happened quickly. I feel as if prayers were answered, that she was comforted.

She will be missed. I am so thankful that Cole, Cameron and I were able to spend such quality time with her while I was caring for her. I have memories of her getting to know her only Great-Grandchild...and of Cameron getting to know his wonderful Great-Grandma. I will never forget how excited she was talking about him, re-telling stories about him, watching him learn new things. She was just as excited as I was when he started walking, talking, trying new things. She was also just as excited as he was when he mastered a new skill or got a new toy.

Grandma lived a full life. She will always be a part of me. She will always be loved and cherished!