Babywise, our experience!

I have a friend that blogged about Baby Wise. I've been meaning to blog about our experience and thought now was the perfect time! Ari blogs at The Patient Mama Diaries and has a basic understanding of how the "program" works. Here's how we implemented it, our how's, why's and when's, as well as how it's worked for us.

For the record, Cameron was 18 months before he slept through the night and Joshua was a couple weeks shy of his first birthday when he slept through the night. Cameron would wake every 3-4 hrs and Joshua woke every 2 hrs. A baby is considered to be sleeping through the night when they are sleeping at least one six hour stretch. Neither, Joshua or Cameron liked napping, in fact, I felt like I was pulling teeth to get Cameron to nap and Joshua only napped in my arms.

I first heard about Babywise when I was pregnant with Joshua. I read the book and then re-read the book and then kept the book at arms length and would refer back to it for several weeks. I came to the conclusion that it was too structured for me and that I wanted my baby to be able to sleep anywhere, not just at home in his crib.

Fast forward to June when Dade was born. I was still bound and determined to do it my way and we were NOT doing Babywise. I brought the kid home from the hospital sleeping 5 hour stretches at night. At one week old, he slept one 8 hr stretch and then one 4 hr stretch. He did that every night from then on. He's just been a better sleeper since the beginning, period! He's always slept in his own bed unlike his older brothers who would only sleep with me. By the time Dade was three months old, I was exhausted mentally....we had been through so much with all of the moves and I was fighting depression. I felt like I didn't have control over anything and my hands were tied up with breastfeeding on demand. I was always trying to figure out how I was going to feed if we were picking Cameron up from school or needed to pick Cole up from work. I weaned Dade to formula over a two week time frame. I just couldn't breastfeed and have control over my life. This was a game changer for us. By the end of the two weeks he was sleeping 12 hrs a night....literally going to bed at 7 pm and waking at 7am. He was still sleeping in his own bed but was in our room. At our four month well-baby check his doctor recommended moving him to his own room because he was no longer waking at night and would sleep more soundly. He said it would be easier now than it would be at 6 months. That next weekend we set up Dade's crib.

The transition from our room to his room was a breeze. So easy! I had never had any of my babies in their own room, ever, so this felt like a dream! A week or so in, Mr. D started waking up in the night. And by started I mean he went from sleeping 12 hrs straight to waking 8 times! This went on two nights, I was dead tired. I phoned my sister-in-law, my resident Babywise expert, and asked for help! I was ready. This had to change!

Side note: His naps were great but I HAD to rock him to sleep and that last week or so by rock I mean violently throw my body around while holding my swaddled baby until he was asleep.

She walked me through Babywise. Step-by-step. At 4 months old I let my baby cry-it-out, something I had always fought and had only ever tried and failed at. We started that first day at 7 am. He ate upon waking that morning. He played or had his wake time and then went down for his nap. And he Cried. And I went in after 5 minutes and gave him his pacifier and shsh'ed him and left. And he cried. And I went back in after 10 minutes and repeated the whole processes. He was asleep 35 minutes after we started his nap. He slept whatever his normal nap was and I was hooked. His next nap he cried for 15 minutes (I went in and pacifired and shsh'ed after 5 minutes but didn't need to go in again). His third nap of the day he went right to sleep. Same with his quick fourth nap. And he went to sleep on his own at bedtime and woke a handful of times. Thing got better quickly!

I just knew for sure I would hate being scheduled. I knew he wouldn't nap in his car seat. I knew this was going to be torture. I was WRONG! We were SUPER scheduled for about 6 weeks. I wanted to make sure we both had our schedule down pat before trying to deviate from it. Dade would still nap in his car seat if we were out doing errands and it was time to nap. This was the best thing I could have done for me and for him.

Present Day: Our day looks like this:
Wake between 6:30 and 7 am and eat.
Play while brother and Dad get ready.
We take them to school/work.
Home for more play or church to play while mommy worksout
9 or 9:15: Nap
10:45/11: Wake and eat
Play
1pm: Nap
2:30: Wake and pick brother up from school
3:30: eat (I break and babywise cardinal rule here by not feeding when he wakes and waiting but it works for us!)
Play
4:30 : pick daddy up
5: solids, play, bath, bedtime bottle
6:30: Bedtime

He's sleeping through the night 90% of the time. Now that he's mobile he can find his own pacifier and 5 or 6 nights a week I don't hear from him till morning. Once or twice a week he'll wake between 2 and 4 and I quickly and quietly give him his pacifier, re-swaddle and shut the door and he doesn't make another peep till morning.

I'm a Babywise believer but I don't think it's for everyone or every baby! I would never have stuck with it if I had started from birth....we were too busy during summer to try to be that scheduled!

I have traveled since starting Babywise and because we are scheduled it always throws us off just a bit but it's been very easy to re-train and fall right back into our schedule.

Each new milestone or stage throws a baby off as well. Babywise gives helpful advice and solutions when those things happen...sometimes you need to extend your schedule and such.

Here's the thing, with Dade, I needed to be scheduled. I have a preschooler and a first grader that demand my time and attention as well as a home to care for. I didn't have the luxury of holding and snuggling this little guy all day because my attention was need elsewhere always! Babywise hasn't taken the snuggles away but it's helped restructure my day so that I know when I can get my daily chores done or schedule appointments. Each day looks the same for us schedule wise and it makes this mom of three happy to know how my day will go. I get early morning snuggles from my sweet boy, sleepy hugs and kisses when he goes down for each nap and bed, sleepy-just-awake snuggles while he eats and then I have a happy baby that will play, talk, and explore during wake time. He is my happy, easy-going, baby. Is that because of babywise? Probably not, I think he would have had this demeanor no matter what. I believe babywise was more for me....it helps me work through the sleep problems and gives me structure.

Would I use it again, say on our next baby? Maybe. If I did, I think it would just come naturally. Now having done the eat, wake sleep routine I think we'd probably just fall into it. As for being super strict and implementing all of the other guidelines, I'd probably do like I did with Dade and as long as that baby is sleeping okay I'd wait until we had a problem. Letting my babies cry just doesn't come natural to me, especially when they are so little. Four months was the perfect starting point for us and I'd probably shoot for that again.

Babywise is controversial, and isn't for everybody. I feel as if I've been able to adapt it enough that it fits for us. I'm not going to cancel an appointment because my baby is sleeping or rush home because wake time is over. We've made it work, I'm truly grateful for the insight and guidance and am overall happy with how it's worked for us. I think I just got lucky in the baby department though!