Peace and Comfort

It took us several days to settle back into a routine after returning home from Oregon. We had to readjust to the constant daylight, again. It always throws off sleep schedules. I think I was more affected than the kids were. Thank goodness for blackout curtains. 

Now that we are finally settled in, I have time to think again. We've had an interesting few days. Saturday morning Joshua woke with a nasty diaper....I figured it was something he had eaten. Those nasty diapers continued into Sunday and still I wasn't convinced that he was sick. he didn't have a fever and was acting normal so again I figured it was something that just hadn't sat right with him. We went to church and although he doesn't stay in nursery I still feel bad about having taken him when he was sick. Anyhow, his diapers continued and actually increased. He became lethargic as Monday started. For the last four days Josh and I have basically sat together and we haven't done anything! I've kept up on the dirty blankets, sheets and jammies from Josh and the dishes but I haven't had time for anything else as the poor little guy only wants mommy. Monday is when the phone calls started. 

Monday afternoon we got a call from some good friends in Oregon letting us know that they are expecting a precious little boy. We are so excited for them and we know that their sweet son that they already have will be a wonderful big brother. A couple hours later they called again to let us know that he had been offered a job with the local school district. We were even more excited about this piece of news. The next morning I got a call from a friend here in Alaska needing a friend...her husband had been let go from his place of employment. My heart broke for the family of five, having been in that similar situation just over a year ago I know how it feels to have to make new plans and readjust the plans you had. A few hours later, my best friend in Oregon called to let me know that she hadn't gotten a job she applied for. Seriously. 

I am so glad that we are blessed with amazing friends. I feel grateful that they feel comfortable calling to share their news with us, good or bad. By the end of the day Tuesday, I became aware or several other friends and family members that were either having a very hard time or celebrating over great news. I was swimming in my own thoughts trying to figure out how to help each individually. I offered up a prayer knowing that our Father in Heaven would be the only one that could provide the comfort that each of my friends need. I have seen miracles worked in my own life, sicknesses healed, comfort provided, peace or mind and of heart. I have felt the peace that can come from the comfort that is provided when turning to our Father in Heaven. Countless times and in so many different situations I have felt that peace and comfort. I pray that each of our friends felt that peace and will continue to feel the spirit in their lives. I know that prayer are answered, it may not be in our time but they will be answered. 

Tonight I am praying for my sweet baby boy. He is on the verge of dehydration and I am so worried about him. I hope this bug passes quickly so that I can have my crazy toddler back!

Oregon!

The kids and I had the opportunity to take an 18 day trip to Oregon the day after Cameron got out of school. Thanks to a wonderful friend and colleague of my sisters the flights were free making the trip possible. This friend contacted me at the end of February to see if it was something I would want to do. My sister had been struggling with postpartum baby blues and her friend thought that a visit from me would help clear them up! so unbeknownst yo my sister I planned the trip and did not tell her. You see, I talk to Amanda on a daily basis at least once if not five times a day...seriously, our husbands have joked about charging us for the time we spend on the phone. Keeping a secret from her is sooo hard. Last year she tried to surprise me for my birthday...but there were to many clues and weird signs allowing me to figure it out. I knew I needed to be sneaky. I kept quiet to her for 6 weeks....the week leading up to the trip was the hardest...I was here making arrangements, returning library books, prepping meals for Cole, deep cleaning the house, packing and finishing Cameron's last week of school. Every day she asks what are you doing today and I would have to keep most of what I was doing to myself so she wouldn't catch on. Thank goodness we flew at night....and arrived before we normally talk each morning. Not being able to get a hold of me all day would have been a dead giveaway. It was worth the trouble though....she was the only family member in Oregon that didn't know we were coming. We surprised her at her work. I meet her friend, Brandi there. Brandi arranged for Amanda to come in. I was the first person she saw when she walked into the building. It was so fun to see the look on her face when it all registered. it took her a second though!

Our trip was awesome! We had great weather and the kids played outside all day everyday! With their cousins around they had so many kids to play with. We were able to spend tons of time with Grandmas and Papas, and Aunts and Uncles too! I was able to visit with my friend Ari who just happened to be in town and the same time I was. I love visiting with friends and was glad to be able to spend time with her and meet her new little guy. I had the opportunity to visit with some other friends as well.

It was an awesome trip, but we are glad to be home and back to normal routines and sleep schedules!

Not much planned for the summer....a quick trip to Fairbanks here in a couple of weeks and them maybe a trip down to Homer. Looking forward to the start of school.

goodby pre-school!

Cameron finished preschool yesterday. It's bitter-sweet. We are all looking forward to summer but we were also sad to say goodbye to Cameron's teacher. He has grown and changed so much this past year. It's hard to describe, but i have watched my shy, quiet 5 year old blossom into an outspoken inquisitive young man. He is so smart and asks interesting questions. He definitely keeps us on our toes.

Camerons teacher, Ms. Rada, was such a blessing. She was so patient and kind to her class. At headstart, the teachers make monthly visits to the homes of each child in their classroom. When Ms. Rada would come over she would always have activities planned that had been tailored to Cameron and what he needed to learn. I remember one visit she raved about Cameron and it touched me deeply. Moving from family to none, I feared that we had set him up for failure. The first few months here in Alaska were very hard for him. He was sad most of the time because he missed his family. He didn't want to go to church because he was afraid none of the kids in his primary class would like him. Once school started we started to see that change. He seemed happier. Although, Ms. Rada was complimenting our parenting when she said what she said about Cameron...to me it was just another confirmation that we as a family are doing just as we should.

We've been counting down the days till school gets out....mainly because I'd like to sleep in :) But when we woke yesterday Cameron was a little sad. It was the last time he would ride the bus with Mr. Fred and the last time he would see most of his friends (we are not in Wasilla city limits...the headstart program he was attending was in Wasilla and most of the students in his class will go to different school...we will go to a Palmer school due to boundaries and such)...it would be the last time he'd see Ms. Rada, although sometimes we run into her at Wal-Mart. We had made her a quilt to thank her for such a great year. I'll be honest, I was definately choking back tears as we said our goodbyes....I'm a big baby, but for me it was the close of our first chapter here in Alaska. We've made a home here and the school and the staff there were a part of that. I know we will find that at the elementary school Cameron attends but for me yesterday was so much more than the end of a school year.

I love this quilt....I hope Ms. Rada does too!

Cole was home one day when Cameron was getting off the bus...Cameron  loved it when Daddy would get him on or off the bus!

Thank You Ms. Rada for such a wonderful year :)

One Year

Our family has had an incredible year! If somebody had given me a timeline or breakdown of how this last year has played out I would have looked at it and thrown it across the room. I didn't imagine the heartache I would feel, how lonely I would be, or how this move would affect Cameron. I never would have believed that I would  be happy, that Cameron would thrive, that Joshua will never know anything different, that Cole would enjoy winter, that we would thrive as a family. I look back over the last year and I have so many memories...stories I hope to be able to tell to my grandchildren one day. I look back over the last year in awe of the lessons we have learned and the trials we have overcome! We have made friends...really great friends...friends we hope to keep forever. We have a cat that the boys adore and an apartment that feels like a home. We are slowly but surely settling into our ward. We have daily and weekly routines. We live in a beautiful town surrounded by majestic mountains. A year ago, the boys and I said goodbye to our friends and family...we took 4 suitcases and 2 boxes...and left everything I've ever known for this wonderful, crazy, challenging adventure! I am so grateful that Cole was there to meet us at the airport when we landed in Anchorage...I was scared out of my mind...but I will ALWAYS remember the grin on his face when we walked out of the terminal and he saw us for the first time in six weeks....he was obviously happy and I was determined from that moment on to make this work and it has. 

I have a new song that I play over and over! It reminds me to keep going. It reminds me to never give up. The last year has been so hard...but I would never trade it for anything. 

Change in the Making

From the album Higher By Mercy River

There’s a better version of me
That I can’t quite see
But things are gonna change
Right now I’m a total mess and
Right now I’m completely incomplete
But things are gonna change
Cause you’re not through with me yet

This is redemption’s story
With every step that I’m taking
Every day, you’re chipping away
What I don’t need
This is me under construction
This is my pride being broken
And every day I’m closer to who I’m meant to be
I’m a change in the making

Wish I could live more patiently
Wish I could give a little more of me
Without stopping to think twice
Wish I had faith like a little child
Wish I could walk a single mile
Without tripping on my own feet
But you’re not through with me yet

Chorus

From the dawn of history
You make new and you redeem
From a broken world to a broken heart
You finish what you start in everything
Like a river rolls into the sea
We’re not who we’re going to be
But things are going to change

Chorus

I’m not who I’m gonna be
Moving closer to your glory

April!

The five people that actually check up on my blog are probably wondering where I've gone off to hide again! Truth be told we've been so busy the last few weeks!

Cameron finishes school on May 9th. This year has flown by! He is thriving at home, at school and at church. he is writing his letters and trying to spell. He is counting and telling us all of the things he's learning. He has been called up to the front of the room during primary a couple of time to hold pictures during singing time and he loves his primary teacher. We are excited to spend the summer together and we are already planning playdates and park fun. I can't believe my baby will be in kindergarten.

Joshua has started talking and is talking more and more each day. He refers to himself as "baby" and tells us when he's "all done". I am "mama" and if he really wants my attention it's "mamamamamamamama". When he's in a really good mood Cameron is "bruder". He's learning animal sounds and he sounds so funny!

Cole and I are great. We are both enjoying the sunshine. I am so glad the snow is finally gone! I have started running :) It feels so good to be back out in the mornings running around our neighborhood! Cole's job is still going good.

I promise to not wait so long between updates!

Spring?

We've had a week of beautiful weather here in our neck of the woods. Dreaming of spring.

Winter update

One of my readers is also a very good friend....she requested an update...so here it is!

Sorry it's been so long, Friends! Life got the best of me and I have been trying my hardest to keep keepin' on!

I'll start with the kiddos---
Joshua has now taken on the name of Josh---I knew it would happen :) Although it's my fault! In all honesty I don't care which name he uses and what our friends and acquaintances call him. Here at home he is Joshua, Josh, baby J, Mr J and Shua. Our Little Guy is officially 18 months old! I still can't believe he's growing up so fast. hes just as independent as Cameron was at this age. He loves his toys and plays with his brother often. He has a favorite blanket. although any blanket will do (nice for blanket washing days!). He is the best eater in the house and will eat almost anything I put in front of him. He's learning how to help with simple chores around the house and he's learning his place in our family. He initiates prayer at meals and stayed the whole two hours in nursery last week! He is growing way to fast and i just wish i could pause time...to enjoy these sweet moments with my baby (toddler)!

Cameron is doing great. He is thriving at school and at home. He can write his name all by himself, although he would rather not! He is the best big brother and helps take care of Joshua. he loves to get him out of his bed and helps to find Josh's blanket when we can't find it. He enjoys playing games on the computer (our favorite sites are NickJr and PBS Kids...we also like the Zoodles dashboard) and loves our Wii. It's been fun to watch his coordination change allowing him to play these different games and consoles better. we haven't had any more trouble with kids at school which is wonderful. Cameron and i both love his teacher and the classroom aide. We have decided to homeschool him next year. I am looking forward to the one-on-one time we will have. He is one of the funniest kids I know and cracks me up a hundred times a day. He is also very smart....the things he retains in that little head of his amazes me. We are pretty sure that Cameron has inherited my allergies, though. He will have an allergy test here soon to help determine what his triggers may be.

Cole has had his best winter to date (at least as long as I've known him). To me, it's just another testament to me that we are doing exactly as Heavenly Father has planned. He still loves his job, but has realized that it's just that, a job, and that in order for us to expand our family anymore and buy a house someday he will need a career that will allow him to provide those things. He's looking into a couple of things and is excited about the different opportunities he's pursuing.

As for me, it's been a very hard winter....not because of the winter and lack of daylight but because I am having a hard time figuring out where I fit in. I believe this is the reason I have been avoiding this blog. I have commited myself to me and my family. I have decided that it doesn't matter how many friends I have right now and what people may think of me. I need to do what is best for myself and my family. I have settled into  our ward for the most part. As for Alaska, I love it. I have thoroughly enjoyed our winter and I am looking forward to spring. We've had some crazy snow that isn't normally for where we live. It's been soooo fun!

Overall, We are happy, healthy and enjoying each other!